Sunday, March 7, 2010

Eco-Friendly Spirits

Artist and environmental activist, Roberta Bitts, gets inspiration for her new project from the ghost of an artist, who is still alive

Roberta Bitts, the founder of the Green is the New Black Foundation, says that she found herself drowning in the dark sea of creative block while working on her latest project that involves making a giant Hello Kitty house out of crocheted yarn. She became an avid fan of the famous cat designed by Ikuko Shimizu after she came across a Hello Kitty 'Go Green' t-shirt, a part of the corporation's attempt to go green. She expressed deep admiration for such a big corporation that "doesn't really have to give a shit but they do, cause they are awesome and they care about the environment." Bitts has been working on this gargantuan project that is going to cost an estimate of $7 million for the past 6 months. The project came to a standstill after the first 2 months because of the artist's inability to channel her creative juju into the process of creating. However, in an exclusive interview with PoMoNow, expressed her plans to start up the project again due to recent experiences involving the spirit of an artist. Last month, the artist bought a collectible lunchbox featuring cartoonist Robert Crumb's creation, Devil Girl. After the purchase, Bitts realized that she was constantly surrounded by a celestial aura that she is convinced is the spirit or ghost of Crumb. Crumb, a founder of the Underground Comik movement, is still alive and currently resides in Southern France. When questioned on how the spirit of a living person can possibly haunt someone, Bitts told us that Crumb may be alive in body, but his spirit is dead and it talks to her at night. Bitts believes that this special situation has come about because of his incompatibility with his wife, Aline Kominsky-Crumb, who he has been married to since 1978. "His spirit will once again reunite with his body once I have rescued him from that bitch."
When asked about how the so-called spirit of Robert Crumb has helped her make progress in her project, the artist answered that she simply does not feel like what she is doing is trivial because the ghost of a famous artist has told her that the company Sanrio, responsible for making Hello Kitty an international phenomenon, is ultimately going to be responsible for saving the world from global warming with its green products. Sanrio declared that "Hello Kitty leads the go green campaign in her cool green overalls and nature-inspired adornment on her paws." This new line of merchandize includes jute tote bags, notebooks made of recyclable paper and soy ink, stainless steel coffee mug, etc. So far, Crumb's body has refused offer any comments regarding his supposed loss of soul.


  1. wow a green kitty-chan...

    btw, love that picture above. was it from that polaroid camera?

  2. Go Konsumer Kulture. It is still hard for us to accept how subcultural activity has become consumer activity. That the two have blurred completely in the 21st century. Maybe you will work for the Onion someday. Is National Lampoon still around?

  3. I took the picture with a 35mm slr.

    And thanks for mentioning the Onion. I had completely forgotten all about them and that there is already a well-established publication out there featuring fake funny news. I have actually never heard of National Lampoon. I will have to check that out.